Grace upon grace. That’s what it felt like during our year of waiting on God after having four miscarriages. Everywhere I turned, there He was, rich with mercy. Gently He put lessons on my heart. Slowly I saw more of who He is and who I am. Some days I still wouldn’t choose to cling to truth and someone would text or call with some Scripture passage or prayer or a devotional. Again, I would be met with grace.
But I didn’t see as much grace when I started feeling sick. Endometriosis. MTHFR. Degenerative Disk Disease. I didn’t see grace. I just felt unloved or overlooked. The lessons I learned and the closeness I had with God after our miscarriages made the suffering worth something. But in sickness? Nothing. Just frustration.
One day it occurred to me that maybe there were good things coming from suffering, and I just didn’t see them. So I asked God to open my eyes to the good He promised to work. There was no sudden realization where everything made sense. But day by day, I began to see His grace again.
I cataloged the lessons I learned from miscarriages and it helped me see things so much more clearly. I’d like to do a series now on what I’ve learned from suffering, for that same purpose.
I hate suffering. I do not enjoy struggling. But good things do come to those who wait on God. And when we arrive at the end of our own strength, we really have no other choice but to come, hands extended, to the “throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16; emphasis mine.)
© Grace Baeten 2022
The Misplaced Mom 
Leave a comment