Sweet Fruits

There are certain decisions in my life that I have made on a whim with little thought. Then there are some decisions I have bathed in prayer for months or even years. Big and scary choices – like trying to conceive again – I just can’t go down those paths without knowing for sure God wants me to.

Literally two and a half years ago, I began praying about that very decision. I wanted to have another baby, but felt God was saying wait. So we did. We took care of some health issues for me. We waited until our son was older. We worked on our marriage, adjusted to my husband’s promotion, and continued to seek God’s wisdom.

Eventually, we believed God was leading us to pursue having another baby. I’ve never had trouble getting pregnant before, so I expected at least that part to be easy. We had peace about the situation, and I even dared to be excited. Doors had opened, and I didn’t doubt we were doing the right thing.

That was almost a year ago. And the funny thing? We’re still waiting on God. At times I’ve wondered – did we make the wrong choice? Did we misread God’s promptings? But let me tell you, I could list at least half a dozen lessons God has pressed into my heart over the last year, and it’s been because of this up and down journey of trying to conceive.

Those lessons and the good He’s worked have made me more certain we obeyed, not less. I don’t know how many kids we’ll have here, but I do know God wanted my heart to grow in these ways.

I won’t lie: I do not enjoy waiting. The work it takes to wait faithfully or the surrender required – I don’t like it at all. But I do love what waiting produces. I can honestly say this last year has made me more like Christ. I’m far from perfect, but ever so slowly, I am being made ready for my heavenly home.

Slow and steady steps win the race as they say. A fact I am reminded of daily, as I help and watch my son grow. We recently learned our son is autistic. So many things made sense when we found that out, but learning this also brought a wave of grief over the struggles autism can bring. My almost four year old is already learning the value of having to work hard and wait for the results of that work.

But I see good come. I see God weaving into his little heart truths to hold onto when we press on, wait, and do not see immediate results.

I’ve also watched him struggle with something, and over a period of time, succeed at the very same task. How my heart soars in that moment! Work has paid off.

Yes, it really is slow and steady that wins the race. As we take continue to take those steps one at a time, we have to trust that even though it looks like nothing is happening, God is at work.

Knowing that, we keep going. We keep waiting – trusting that one day soon we will see the fruits produced by obedience.

Fruits that wouldn’t be as sweet if we hadn’t needed to wait to watch them grow.

© Grace Baeten 2022