God Does Not Owe Us Anything

We owe Him everything.

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” – Romans 5:6-11

After our fourth miscarriage, I became very angry. I had always held back with my anger because “good” Christians don’t get angry at God. They simply trust. That’s what I did for as long as I could. Eventually my anger came to a head. I felt as though He had given me too much. It was too much to lose two babies at once. Too much to miscarry after doing all my pills and blood thinning. Did He forget He had promised not to give us more than we can handle? What about the persistent widow parable in Luke 18, the elders praying over me like in James chapter 5, or the loving Father who gives every good thing?

I knew the truth. I knew none of those Scripture passages promised me a baby. I knew He hadn’t given me more than I could handle, because I was still carrying on, wasn’t I? But I felt let down, because I kept waiting for God to show up in some spectacular way. If I had to lose our twins, then maybe there’d at least be a baby waiting for us on our doorstep one night. Perhaps God was going to come down from heaven and miraculously take away my pain. His Word didn’t feel like enough anymore. I didn’t want to hear how He’s our Refuge and Strength. I just wanted a baby.

That was when I knew I wanted it too much. My desire for a child had overridden my desire for Christ. I was no longer grateful for all He had done and continued to do for me, but instead was ungratefully, angrily feeling He had not done enough.

We went to see an Easter Musical, and that’s where it hit me. He had already given me far more than I deserved. He had done more than enough. Jesus came down from heaven all those years ago and offered the gift of salvation to a people who didn’t want Him. He had already done something spectacular and miraculous in defeating sin, death, and the devil. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, He sent His children the Holy Spirit and His Word to guide us and help us along.

God is so generous and loving. He gives willingly and abundantly to those who deserve nothing short of an eternity in hell. I am a sinner, without any way of earning my way to heaven. Yet God, in His mercy, reached down to save my soul. As I do my best to serve Him, He helps me and forgives me for all the times I still choose sin…for all the times I run to something besides Him.

So, as you see, God has done enough. He does not owe us anything; we owe Him everything. Every part of us, every second of our lives belongs to Him. Although we can’t ever repay Him, we should always do our best to serve Him and honor Him out of gratitude and loyalty, but also out of love. And that love should be not just because of what He offers, but because of who He is.

That being said, does God fulfill our heart’s desires? Does He give blessings beyond salvation? Yes, He does graciously gives added blessings to His children, here and in heaven, and He does fulfill their desires, but in His time, in His way, and only if you are delighting in Him.

People always quote Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” They use it as proof that God will give you what you ask for, but they often forget the first part. You first have to delight yourself in Christ. This is important, because if you are delighting Him, if He is the center of your life, then your desires will be shaped towards His will. His desires will become what you desire. You will want what He wants for you. So, indeed, your desires will be granted, but He might change them first. That’s a hard concept to grasp and live out. But as Christians, shouldn’t Christ be our supreme delight?

To put it simply: God does give added blessings to His children such as provision, answered prayers, and at times, even your hearts desires. However, He does not owe us these things. They are a gift! And attaining these things should not be why we serve Him or run to Him.

He, in and of Himself, should be our heart’s deepest and strongest desire. Who Christ is and what He has done should be enough.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself. 😉

© Grace Baeten