Fertility Story Part 2

The new doctor – Dr. C – was incredibly thorough & understanding. We put some new medications in place & gave my body a few months to heal. I got pregnant a third time, with twins, miscarried, had a D&C to avoid prolonged bleeding again, & underwent extensive testing.

I was diagnosed with MTHFR, two copies of the C677T, which is the worst mutation of that particular disease. We upped blood thinners, added a few more precautionary meds, & conceived twins again. Miscarried at nine weeks due to the babies not developing properly. I was told it was a “typical” miscarriage, unrelated to my disease.

I really can’t share our story without bringing in the spiritual side of things. A recurrent theme throughout this trial was “waiting on God”. A friend gave me a poem entitled, “Wait”, which I’ll post soon because it’s incredible. And when I begged my doctor to give me anything else to try, I’ll never forget him putting his hand on knee, looking me in the eye, & saying, “I can’t help you if you’re waiting on God.”

What did that even mean? All I knew was my heart was broken, my arms were empty, & my faith was so incredibly fragile.

The thoughts going through my mind? We had sought God every step of the way. We’d be good parents. People all around us had kids with ease. We experienced quite a bit of judgement from people in our lives because Christian women are apparently supposed to pop out babies with ease, & I couldn’t. I felt forgotten & less & utterly depressed. My pride told me I didn’t deserve to suffer so.

My emotions were all over the place. I resolved to never try again. Then I resolved to try until it worked. And finally, as God patiently uprooted sin in my heart & replaced it with actual, Biblical faith, I resolved to simply wait on His leading.