Fertility Story Part 6

My egg reserve was quite low for my age & my hormones were a mess. Ovulation was deteriorating. Meds were hit & miss as to whether they worked to accomplish a healthy ovulation. Poor ovulation usually equals a miscarriage, & I saw that ring true for us.

We were on an emotional roller coaster that pretty much went like this: Test, diagnose, treat as best we could, try again. Miscarriage. More doctoring.

Eventually we tested my husband’s sperm count. It was plenty high, but had “a predominance of head defects”, which meant genetic errors in any children conceived with those sperm. That meant miscarriages.

Each test we did left us with more grief than hope. Every way we turned felt like a dead end. People urged us to quit. Every time we were tempted, God would give us just enough glimpse of hope to try “one more time”.

So we kept trying. Severe inflammation caused several miscarriages. Finally corrected it, & made it to six weeks for the first time in awhile, only to miscarry again. Was diagnosed with another clotting disorder.

Two doctors at Mayo Clinic reviewed my case. They told me to hire a surrogate or try IVF. For personal, moral reasons, we wouldn’t go down those paths.

Upped blood thinners. Tried again. Miscarried. Worked on thyroid health, immune system function, cervical mucus, on & on it went, until fertility became this all consuming, nightmarish hell that was slowly killing me.

Literally. One of my doctors told me my stress levels were absolutely through the roof & needed to come down before my body ended up just quitting on me.

In total, over the course of those four years, we lost seven more babies. My heart broke with each one. I really wondered how we’d ever make it through.