Fertility Story Part 9

Months went by. I continued reading books about God’s character. The chapter I read the month I was diagnosed with APS/immune issues talked about how we all have precious things in our life. The author called them our “babies”. She meant it figuratively… but for me it was literal.

Her book compared hard seasons of life to winter & easier seasons of life to spring. (It’s called “Hunting Hope” by Nika Maples.) She suggested that while enduring a season of “winter”, you should fast a beloved activity for several weeks & pursue God through dedicated prayer time instead.

The last line of that chapter:

“Sometimes we have to get to know God better, so we can trust Him to hold our babies.”

I read the chapter to my husband & asked if we could put planning our trip to Canada on hold for two weeks of fasting. We chose to fast music in the car & replace it with prayer, seeking God’s wisdom & guidance.

Now rewind a bit… we never struggled with conceiving before our first was born. However, during this second round of RPL, it seemed a lot harder to get pregnant. It wasn’t severe, but it took an average of six months instead of the usual one to two for us, which I found frustrating. I would NEVER compare six months of TTC to true infertility, but it did make me start overthinking all the details of intercourse. What lubricants were safe, what positions were most effective, how long do you hold your legs in the air, etc. etc. It was exhausting.

I know that’s kinda TMI, but I only share to make a point: for all of our efforts & overthinking, it never made a difference for the outcome.

The day I got the phone call from my doctor about my immune issues I was about midway in my cycle. We had had way-too-tired-to-really-care intercourse the night before & that was the only time that month because we felt it would be irresponsible to try without treatment. So we took a break.

I took a pregnancy test solely out of habit ten days later so I could adjust my meds to get a period.

To my shock, there came back two little lines.