Induction Day

(Still catching you up on the last year, so here’s a #throwback. )

Tomorrow we go to the hospital. My husband came home from work early. Not with flowers or chocolate, but a box of pregnancy tests. 

He remembered. 

About a month ago I said I was tempted to pick up a box and watch the two lines form, one more time. 

This is our last baby. Our very last. And I wanted to take one more test… for old time’s sake. 

I could barely see the stick because of my 37 week pregnant belly. But those lines formed in two seconds flat with the darkest plus sign I’ve ever seen. 

That must sound crazy, but if you’ve been through a journey like ours… well, you’ll understand. 

You’ll understand what it meant to take a pregnancy test for the first time in nine years without getting a pit in the bottom of my stomach. 

I’m glad we didn’t quit.

I’m glad God always pushed us forward to try “one more time.”

It took a lot of “one more times” to get here. But through it all, God was faithful, and we survived.

Tonight is my last night at home before induction. I can’t sleep because watching him dance around in my belly feels more important. I’m so afraid I’ll forget what this felt like.

And I’m a bit afraid for tomorrow.

I’ve been thinking about my labor with Seth. Near the end a nurse walked in and said, “Oh we’re getting to the hard part.” My OB locked eyes with me and said, “I think she’d argue that the last three years [of loss] were the hard part.”

He was right. It was hard to get here. Labor is hard, but infertility is harder. If we walked through all that, I can do labor.

But for tonight, I won’t think about any of those things. I’ll just sit here awhile longer and try to soak in these moments.

Oh God, please don’t let me forget what it was like to hold him inside.

©️ Grace Baeten 2025