Months went by. I continued reading books about God’s character. The chapter I read the month I was diagnosed with APS/immune issues talked about how we all have precious things in our life. The author called them our “babies”. She meant it figuratively… but for me it was literal. Her book compared hard seasons of... Continue Reading →
At the height of my health struggles & the start of our second round of RPL, our firstborn was diagnosed with autism. That’s a journey in & of itself. As we walked through all that, my relationship with God deteriorated. I felt afraid of Him. I wondered why He hated me. Why He inflicted or... Continue Reading →
As the absolute last option we could think of, one of my doctors decided to run a reproductive immunology work up. It’s hard to test for, & most of the diseases aren’t even treated in the United States. She could run the labs, but we also began working with doctors in Greece & Canada for... Continue Reading →
I’ve struggled with chronic illness now for about 6 years. It comes with much grief, just as RPL did. Many of my diseases affected fertility. We had purposely waited until our son was over a year old to actively try for another baby. I knew how consuming a fertility journey could be & I didn’t... Continue Reading →
I begged God to make this pregnancy different from the start. He graciously did just that. I had actual morning sickness for the first time ever, & at my appointments we heard things were “great” & “everything looks normal”. It’s hard to explain how you can simultaneously feel anxiety & peace, but somehow there was... Continue Reading →
As tempted as I was to pursue further fertility help, we didn’t. We just pursued God. This looked like a LOT of Bible reading, prayer, reaching out to others who were hurting, and continually laying down my burdens at the feet of Christ. The grief was not easy to carry, but He carried me. The... Continue Reading →
The new doctor - Dr. C - was incredibly thorough & understanding. We put some new medications in place & gave my body a few months to heal. I got pregnant a third time, with twins, miscarried, had a D&C to avoid prolonged bleeding again, & underwent extensive testing. I was diagnosed with MTHFR, two... Continue Reading →
Wow, has life been full. Full of really hard things and full of really good things. Just full. Let me catch you up:) But first, we have to go back a ways… Over on instagram @hesatisfiesthehungrysoul I’ve finally written out our fertility journey, and I wanted to post it here too. There’s a lot of... Continue Reading →
Sometimes late in the night, I still feel like a little girl, scared of the dark and wanting her mom or dad to come comfort her. But instead of the dark being a lack of physical light, it’s a horrible feeling covering my heart. I wish people understand the pain that comes from an infertility... Continue Reading →
The sun is shining brightly. It does not match my mood. The spring air is warm and inviting. I want to enjoy it. To grab a rake and start on yard work. To toss the ball with my son. To just lay under the clouds and watch them roll by. Other families are starting softball... Continue Reading →
The Misplaced Mom 