I have a T-shirt that says, “Seeing the world differently is beautiful. - Autism Awareness.” I bought it shortly after finding out our son is autistic, as I processed what that meant. I knew autism would never change how much I love my son. In fact, it only deepened my desire to work hard at... Continue Reading →
I hear the pitter patter of your feet running from room to room, hiding your favorite toys in closets. You love small spaces. You wrap your arms around me. Your little hands smell like peanut butter, one of the few foods you eat without struggle. You squeeze my elbow - your new stim. “I love... Continue Reading →
Sometimes it just hurts. I miss you. I wonder what life would be like if you had gotten to stay. Who would you be? Who would I be? I wish I knew. I will. Someday. On days like today I wonder if it was even worth it. Loving I mean. Is the love worth the... Continue Reading →
A few closing thoughts: I mentioned in an earlier post that this lesson scares me just a bit and here’s why: Often it requires sacrifice. You can’t simply say God is enough; you have to live that out. God being enough means making the choice to not let anything come before God, even if it... Continue Reading →
A few days after I lost the twins, a friend came over to visit with me. She spent six hours at my kitchen table talking with me, and I thanked God many times she was able to be there. While we sat together, she shared a poem about waiting. It is by far the best... Continue Reading →
There are many aspects of the resurrection story that amaze me, but this weekend there is one in particular I’m meditating on. He’s hanging on the cross, in pain. The Father turns away from His Son, blood running down Christ’s body. Jesus looks over and sees a small group of people who love Him, but... Continue Reading →
In the last blog I brought up a few tough questions, one in particular I have really wrestled with over the last several months. If God is goodAnd justAnd hates sinAnd grieves for our sufferingThen why do we suffer? The devil isn’t having to work super hard to keep my doubts alive these days. I... Continue Reading →
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve learned anything from my physical frustrations. Sometimes I wonder why my body feels much older than it is. Sometimes I wonder if anything good has come from the place of discomfort, pain, and fear. But good things have come. I’ve learned. Slowly, but still. Progress is good. One thing I’ve... Continue Reading →
The Misplaced Mom 