Sometimes late in the night, I still feel like a little girl, scared of the dark and wanting her mom or dad to come comfort her. But instead of the dark being a lack of physical light, it’s a horrible feeling covering my heart. I wish people understand the pain that comes from an infertility... Continue Reading →
The sun is shining brightly. It does not match my mood. The spring air is warm and inviting. I want to enjoy it. To grab a rake and start on yard work. To toss the ball with my son. To just lay under the clouds and watch them roll by. Other families are starting softball... Continue Reading →
Remember joy? I know - it’s hard to come by sometimes. Seems drowned out by the cares of life. But really, joy can still abound even amidst hard things… Because, life is a gift. God gives life and joy when we learn to delight in Him. He delights in us. He gives good gifts. So... Continue Reading →
As a worrier, I often struggle with feeling the need to control everything. But obviously I can’t. I have to trust the Lord to take care of all the things I can’t take care of. As someone who struggles with a few health issues, I often feel inadequate to meet the days tasks with a... Continue Reading →
I really should know better by now. But no matter how many times I do this, I see a second pink line and hope takes hold for a moment. All I can do is beg God. Please please please make this baby live. I rehearse Daniel 3:18. “The God I serve is able… and He... Continue Reading →
Our Christmas card this year was supposed to look different than it does. I could’ve had a six month old. Or I could’ve been very pregnant - due December 31st. Or I could currently be entering the second trimester. But instead of some type of happy baby announcement, I’m still grieving all the losses we’ve... Continue Reading →
Sometimes it just hurts. I miss you. I wonder what life would be like if you had gotten to stay. Who would you be? Who would I be? I wish I knew. I will. Someday. On days like today I wonder if it was even worth it. Loving I mean. Is the love worth the... Continue Reading →
I have a hard time with this - reconciling suffering with an all-sovereign God who loves me. Questions toy with my mind and my heart. Was this much suffering necessary? For this long? In this way? It must have been, because otherwise God would never have allowed it. Was it ordained? Is it purposeful? Must... Continue Reading →
A few closing thoughts: I mentioned in an earlier post that this lesson scares me just a bit and here’s why: Often it requires sacrifice. You can’t simply say God is enough; you have to live that out. God being enough means making the choice to not let anything come before God, even if it... Continue Reading →
If I had to pick only one lesson God has relentlessly put on my heart over the last eight years of praying to have a family, it is the only God is enough to satisfy. I’ll be honest - this lesson scares me just a bit. Anyone can say “God is enough.” I always figured... Continue Reading →
The Misplaced Mom 