Months went by. I continued reading books about God’s character. The chapter I read the month I was diagnosed with APS/immune issues talked about how we all have precious things in our life. The author called them our “babies”. She meant it figuratively… but for me it was literal. Her book compared hard seasons of... Continue Reading →
At the height of my health struggles & the start of our second round of RPL, our firstborn was diagnosed with autism. That’s a journey in & of itself. As we walked through all that, my relationship with God deteriorated. I felt afraid of Him. I wondered why He hated me. Why He inflicted or... Continue Reading →
As the absolute last option we could think of, one of my doctors decided to run a reproductive immunology work up. It’s hard to test for, & most of the diseases aren’t even treated in the United States. She could run the labs, but we also began working with doctors in Greece & Canada for... Continue Reading →
I’ve struggled with chronic illness now for about 6 years. It comes with much grief, just as RPL did. Many of my diseases affected fertility. We had purposely waited until our son was over a year old to actively try for another baby. I knew how consuming a fertility journey could be & I didn’t... Continue Reading →
I begged God to make this pregnancy different from the start. He graciously did just that. I had actual morning sickness for the first time ever, & at my appointments we heard things were “great” & “everything looks normal”. It’s hard to explain how you can simultaneously feel anxiety & peace, but somehow there was... Continue Reading →
Sometimes late in the night, I still feel like a little girl, scared of the dark and wanting her mom or dad to come comfort her. But instead of the dark being a lack of physical light, it’s a horrible feeling covering my heart. I wish people understand the pain that comes from an infertility... Continue Reading →
Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12, NASB) Note from the John MacArthur Study Bible: “Thus far the Lord has helped us. This expression means that the Lord was the One responsible for getting Israel... Continue Reading →
As a worrier, I often struggle with feeling the need to control everything. But obviously I can’t. I have to trust the Lord to take care of all the things I can’t take care of. As someone who struggles with a few health issues, I often feel inadequate to meet the days tasks with a... Continue Reading →
The Misplaced Mom 