Grace

Do you ever feel like you’re walking a fine line? Like you’re a little divided, and unsure of what way you’re going to go? But deep down, you know the right thing to do…

That’s how I feel these days. I want to cling to God’s Word with unwavering hope. I want to let my anxiety go because my “heart is firm, trusting in the Lord”. I want to deal with my emotions, embrace the life I have, and live life to the fullest. But these days I’m struggling to get very far with my resolutions. My emotions are too strong and my resolve too weak. I’m too weak.

It seems like once you let even a sliver of sin into your heart, it imbeds deep and soon widens, causing a gap in our fellowship to God. It always serves as a reminder to me of how sin separates us from our Creator. Of course, you can’t lose your salvation… but your relationship with God can suffer.

I’ve been realizing this year that my heart has many, many wrong ideas about God and the religion of Christianity. If I’m being honest, I’ve often viewed God as an angry Father, giving us commandments we can never keep and ready with trials for when we fail. Comically, my name is Grace, but I have had a hard time believing in it.

Recently someone mentioned that God is long-suffering towards His children and I was like, “What? Are you sure? Why am I always so afraid He’s out to get me?”

Maybe it’s because of all the trials, or my upbringing, or my lack of understanding of God’s Word and what it says about this beautiful, incredible thing called grace.

One major sin I struggle with? Viewing God through my emotions, circumstances, or preconceived notions about Who He is based on my human perspective. And then I get angry at Him unjustly, because I limit Him to my understanding… or lack thereof.

My heart says my sin brings immediate wrath. The Bible says my sin debt was nailed to the cross, and the wrath of God against me is satisfied because Christ bore it in my place.

My heart says God is angry with me all the time, but the Bible says God loves me and desires a relationship with me.

My heart says trials come because God is unloving. The Bible says God only gives what is good for us, and promises relief from these “light and momentary afflictions”.

My heart says I must earn God’s favor. The Bible says I can’t, but that my standing with God is secured by Christ and He will never cast me away from His presence.

This, my dear friends, is grace. That list is exactly why I need it. Why I need the truth of God’s Word to soften this hard heart and bridge the gap of separation caused by my uneducated ideas about God.

I think sometimes I serve Him out of fear instead of gratitude. I think sometimes I live in dread instead of the joy of the Lord. I think I might view Him as unjust instead of merciful, holy, righteous, and yes – long-suffering towards mankind.

A.W. Tozar was absolutely right – what comes to our mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us. The only place we can set our wrong ideas straight is God’s Word where our lies are replaced with truth and our sins are met with grace in abundance. As we know Him more, our motives become more pure, our heart becomes more Christ-like, and our fear of God becomes more Biblical.

Then, when we feel torn between what’s wrong and what’s right, we not only know which what path to take, but by the power of the Holy Spirit, we stay on the straight path.

He keeps us steady. His arms hold us, both firmly and gently. He will not let us go.

This is grace.

©️ Grace Baeten 2023