You

I hear the pitter patter of your feet running from room to room, hiding your favorite toys in closets. You love small spaces. You wrap your arms around me. Your little hands smell like peanut butter, one of the few foods you eat without struggle. You squeeze my elbow - your new stim. “I love... Continue Reading →

Thus Far the Lord Has Helped Me

Then Samuel took a stone and set it between Mizpah and Shen, and named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12, NASB) Note from the John MacArthur Study Bible: “Thus far the Lord has helped us. This expression means that the Lord was the One responsible for getting Israel... Continue Reading →

Even This

I really should know better by now. But no matter how many times I do this, I see a second pink line and hope takes hold for a moment. All I can do is beg God. Please please please make this baby live. I rehearse Daniel 3:18. “The God I serve is able… and He... Continue Reading →

Lasting Satisfaction

Our Christmas card this year was supposed to look different than it does. I could’ve had a six month old. Or I could’ve been very pregnant - due December 31st. Or I could currently be entering the second trimester. But instead of some type of happy baby announcement, I’m still grieving all the losses we’ve... Continue Reading →

Suffering

I have a hard time with this - reconciling suffering with an all-sovereign God who loves me. Questions toy with my mind and my heart. Was this much suffering necessary? For this long? In this way? It must have been, because otherwise God would never have allowed it. Was it ordained? Is it purposeful? Must... Continue Reading →

God Is Enough Part 4

A few closing thoughts: I mentioned in an earlier post that this lesson scares me just a bit and here’s why: Often it requires sacrifice. You can’t simply say God is enough; you have to live that out. God being enough means making the choice to not let anything come before God, even if it... Continue Reading →

God Is Enough Part 3

Some Bible verses on the subject of God being enough: “The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” Psalms 34:10 “When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am... Continue Reading →

God Is Enough Part 2

A few days after I lost the twins, a friend came over to visit with me. She spent six hours at my kitchen table talking with me, and I thanked God many times she was able to be there. While we sat together, she shared a poem about waiting. It is by far the best... Continue Reading →

God is Enough Part 1

If I had to pick only one lesson God has relentlessly put on my heart over the last eight years of praying to have a family, it is the only God is enough to satisfy. I’ll be honest - this lesson scares me just a bit. Anyone can say “God is enough.” I always figured... Continue Reading →

It Wasn’t Your Fault

In the last blog we talked about how the Bible says a man’s days are ordained by God. Those verses comfort me when I need to remember God is in control of life, especially my pregnancies. Even more of a comfort is that these verses prove something else: control wasn’t in my hands. Out of... Continue Reading →

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