I really should know better by now. But no matter how many times I do this, I see a second pink line and hope takes hold for a moment. All I can do is beg God. Please please please make this baby live. I rehearse Daniel 3:18. “The God I serve is able… and He... Continue Reading →
Our Christmas card this year was supposed to look different than it does. I could’ve had a six month old. Or I could’ve been very pregnant - due December 31st. Or I could currently be entering the second trimester. But instead of some type of happy baby announcement, I’m still grieving all the losses we’ve... Continue Reading →
Do you ever feel like you’re walking a fine line? Like you’re a little divided, and unsure of what way you’re going to go? But deep down, you know the right thing to do… That’s how I feel these days. I want to cling to God’s Word with unwavering hope. I want to let my... Continue Reading →
Sometimes it just hurts. I miss you. I wonder what life would be like if you had gotten to stay. Who would you be? Who would I be? I wish I knew. I will. Someday. On days like today I wonder if it was even worth it. Loving I mean. Is the love worth the... Continue Reading →
I have a hard time with this - reconciling suffering with an all-sovereign God who loves me. Questions toy with my mind and my heart. Was this much suffering necessary? For this long? In this way? It must have been, because otherwise God would never have allowed it. Was it ordained? Is it purposeful? Must... Continue Reading →
As a mother, it is hard for me to watch my son struggle. Autism has brought many challenges for him, and sometimes it’s heart wrenching to watch. Despite his objections, we must help him learn how to eat, how to dress, how to advocate for his needs. He can’t do these things by himself, or... Continue Reading →
A few closing thoughts: I mentioned in an earlier post that this lesson scares me just a bit and here’s why: Often it requires sacrifice. You can’t simply say God is enough; you have to live that out. God being enough means making the choice to not let anything come before God, even if it... Continue Reading →
Some Bible verses on the subject of God being enough: “The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” Psalms 34:10 “When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am... Continue Reading →
A few days after I lost the twins, a friend came over to visit with me. She spent six hours at my kitchen table talking with me, and I thanked God many times she was able to be there. While we sat together, she shared a poem about waiting. It is by far the best... Continue Reading →
If I had to pick only one lesson God has relentlessly put on my heart over the last eight years of praying to have a family, it is the only God is enough to satisfy. I’ll be honest - this lesson scares me just a bit. Anyone can say “God is enough.” I always figured... Continue Reading →
The Misplaced Mom 